It's late, again. It seems my life is never at that good steady state where I have things to do and I do them and yet have time to write about it for perfect chronicles of my existence. I'm perpetually stuck in a cycle of too busy experiencing something to take 30 minutes to write it down and not doing anything of importance that I want to preserve the memory anyway.
Thursday we got on a bus which took us to Las Vegas. Jake was my bus buddy. In Vegas we did a photo scavenger hunt. Then we stuck around for the "Open Bar" that turned out to only serve bad beer and bad wine. I have had it. I walked out. I went looking for tickets for a show but couldn't find anything. So I got a small bottle of Russian Water and drank it. I went back to the party that was now largely depleted and had another 4 glasses of wine. Then I had silly conversations with people and followed a group of coworkers to a club. I wore comfy clothes for a change. I may still be able to do flips and tricks in a collared shirt, but I can't jump well in my usual pants. So I wore my parkour pants. Well turned out they don't like what I was wearing at the fancy-pants club. I wasn't let in. I went back to the hotel room and drunk called the girl I've been dating. She said some unusual things that I was in no mental state to fully discuss, especially over the phone.
The next day I spent running around going to shows. Saw Tarzan the movie, Popovich the act, Recycled Percussion the musicians, Sin City comedy cabaret, and the cherry on top was the Absinthe performance, which was, you guessed it, amazing. Chris and Alina made it to Vegas that night and we concluded the day by going up the Stratosphere tower.
Almost forgot. I won in roulette. Made 2 bets of $3 and won $19. Then later bet $3 and won $39. Yeah. Good luck!
Anyway, the next day we walked around got food etc. I played roulette again, but with less luck this time. I lost $25. Then won $20. Then lost $40 and then lost $15. Overall, it's been negative, but ultimately fun. We went to two magic shows. We saw Mat Franco and Pen&Teller. Pen and Teller were amazing, just like I thought they would be. I wish we'd had the time to take photos with them. Alas, we needed to make the drive back.
I woke up at a normal time the next day despite everything. Sunday it was. I went to the beach. This time I spent a good amount of time there. I got water. Did things in moderation. Then... it was almost late. It was Heather's last day in LA. People were going to play board games at a bar and then go over to Colin C's place. I didn't want to go to the bar. I was getting sad, too. That happens, still for all the same reasons. So I went home and crashed.
I woke up around 20:30 and had this desire to go do something. I decided to have a conversation with the girl, but I wanted to have it in person. She lives far away so I suggested I come over. She said she sees why she'd say that because she's under the impression I don't want to come after. I was confused. But I did explain that yes, she's right, I did have plans for the 4th. But.... she told me to not bother and just spend time with other people. 0.o I didn't need more than that. I'm looking for a woman who will say "Fuck yes! Come over!". She wasn't the one and that was the end of that. Have to be honest, it bummed me out a little. Life goes on though. I signed up for speed dating and RSVP'd for board games at Colin's. He didn't reply that night. Well, that was disappointing.
I started today by wanting to make things different in any way that I could. I went on a hike. Did the Los Liones trail in 30 minutes again. Showered. Went for lunch with family. Washed my car. Told my family I wasn't coming to picnic/fireworks after. Decided to not go to the lagoon beach family independence day thing. I was unhappy. My dad made remarks about me looking unhappy again. I didn't want to spend more time with them nor the beach family. I went to Oleg's party. I found it refreshing in a sense that he knows a lot of Russian people. And at some point the 4 of us hanging out on the balcony were all from Belarus. That was cool. But that too, got old after a few hours. I felt a wave of "Do something!!!!" coming on. I asked around if anyone had a coin I could flip. Everyone just said no without really engaging. Not my crowd. So I just left. I hauled my ass to Pacific Palisades High School for their fireworks. It's been the only consistently good place for me to go to see a fireworks show. Everything else has been disappointing. And I made it. I parked a mile away so I wouldn't have to deal with cars again. Out of the last 2 times I was there, once I got hit by another car and the other I got stuck in traffic trying to make a right for over an hour. This time I just ran a mile back to my car and was home 20 minutes later.
Those are the facts. I don't have time to get into my emotional state about any of this. Queue in behavioral therapy. Not digging into anything right now. I did things. They were fun. I was lonely. I will do more things. The end. Good night.
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