Monday, July 11, 2016

Speed Dating

I've been sick for the last few days. So nothing much happened. The only notable thing is that on Friday I went Speed Dating. Ooh. It was supposed to be a 10:10 somewhere in Beverly Hills. But they lost the venue, moved the thing to West Hollywood. Then one of the women dropped out and so did her 4 friends. So the ratio was 2:1. I got there a little early because I didn't want to be late. The host apologized and said I'll get a code to go to another event for free.

When I got there I went straight for the bar. I talked to one of the other guys who was waiting. Another broken heart trying to go out there. I told him I didn't want to look out. He did. He said he didn't see anyone he was remotely interested in talking to. I got the same vibe. Either way, I asked him why he's even there then. So he finished his drink and left. Good lad. I was considering leaving, too, but I was a few blocks away from Anotio's where I could meet Alex L after.

The actual 1:1s with girls were extended to 7 minutes instead of 5. Plenty of time to get to know someone on surface level. Lots of smiling, pleasant faces. That part was good. I learned that nobody goes to these things alone. Every girl brought a friend. Or rather, every girl got brought by a friend. There was a clear distinction between those who needed to get out more and those who could manipulate their friends to go out with them. This one girl literally said she's doing charity work by bringing her friend out when I asked her what she was doing there. Ha.

So I met two teachers and two nurses. The last lady was crazy. This slimy unpleasant person. She was at least 50 in a 24-35 speed dating event and she's already had a few too many drinks. She either kept getting offended or talking out of her ass about some bullcrap topic she knows nothing about. When she started insisting that I get a drink with her I mentioned that she's probably already had enough and she started yelling "This guy doesn't think women shouldn't drink". The host kept apologizing to me for her behavior. It was kind of funny at first, but after more comments like that I just left.

At Antonio's Alex and I had a couple of drink. I figured out he's lost a lot of his Russian. Ha. And I called it a night.

Saturday I was sick. I mustered up enough strength to go to Tempest, but that's about it.

Sunday I was sick, but I mustered enough strength to go to the beach and give Hope a ride from the airport doing movies and a hike on the way.

Today I'm sick, but I think I'll go to work anyway. It really does always feel like there's too much work to do on my team.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

New Team

Yesterday was my first day on the new team. Nothing amazing has happened. Nothing bad either. I found out that they have a lot of things together that I didn't know they did. Like they have a lot of process in place. It's probably a little stunting, but right now it's a good thing since I have structure! Finally.

I was invited to lunch 5 different times today. Haha. What a good-wishing team. I ended up going, but too late after everyone finished. Hehe. Then had a 1:1 with the manager and went to work. I had a goal for myself to get something done. But at the end of the day I was nowhere near started. Lots of documentation to read.

There was a Plain White T's concert that Chris and Alina wanted to go to to. I was thinking about making it out, but it would've taken an hour and I didn't feel like sitting in traffic. I needed to go to the gym anyway to pick up my gym bag.

At the gym I did a move before warming up and pulled a muscle in my back. It still hurts. I'm not sure how to fix it. So the rest of the session wasn't as productive. I still did things though. Olga brought the exercise sheets again so we did some trampoline drills.

Another thing that happened yesterday was that I had some closure talks with Katya (from San Clemente). She said she's upset with me for still going on OkC and not expressing a lot of interest in her. I told her that she needs to tell people if she expects something from them. At the end I asked what it is that she'd want from me. And she sent me a video of waves crashing on the beach. I think I'm supposed to do an interpretive dance or something. I give up. I don't know how to communicate with people like that.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Last vacation day.

Sadly my 6-day weekend has come to an end. And what did I do with it? I hung out with my niece. We went to get Which-wich. She wanted to go to LA zoo, but I knew better than suffer in traffic and heat, so I took her to Malibu instead. We sat on the rocks and watched waves crash on the giant rocks. We picked up some bottoms some arseholes left behind themselves and threw them away. Then we drove (thought could've walked) to the self-realization shrine. So calm and peaceful. Saw a duck with so many ducklings. Always so cute to watch animals. Then we drove West on Sunset and decided to go bowl. After bowling we went to the movies and saw Swiss Army Man. What the hell did we see?!? We concluded the day by going to the Grove and having tea.

After I took my niece home I drove to Tempest and put in a work-out. I still felt pretty social so Andrea, Lonnie and I went to get food after. I got home late. I woke up in the middle of the night unable to sleep. I'd forgotten my gym bag at Tempest and I'm really worried something will happen to my stuff. Given that everything in it is pretty new, rebought after the car break-in, I would be devastated if I lost it all again. :(

I had a dream where I was playing Frankenstein in a cheap play and there were many girls surrounding me wanting to stay in touch after. Ah, the romantic life for an artist. I tried finding them (a particular one, again), but failed and woke up. Story of my life.

I start on my new team today. I'm not ready. Ill never be ready. The only thing left to do is to get out of bed and face the day.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Independence Day weekend

It's late, again. It seems my life is never at that good steady state where I have things to do and I do them and yet have time to write about it for perfect chronicles of my existence. I'm perpetually stuck in a cycle of too busy experiencing something to take 30 minutes to write it down and not doing anything of importance that I want to preserve the memory anyway.

Thursday we got on a bus which took us to Las Vegas. Jake was my bus buddy. In Vegas we did a photo scavenger hunt. Then we stuck around for the "Open Bar" that turned out to only serve bad beer and bad wine. I have had it. I walked out. I went looking for tickets for a show but couldn't find anything. So I got a small bottle of Russian Water and drank it. I went back to the party that was now largely depleted and had another 4 glasses of wine. Then I had silly conversations with people and followed a group of coworkers to a club. I wore comfy clothes for a change. I may still be able to do flips and tricks in a collared shirt, but I can't jump well in my usual pants. So I wore my parkour pants. Well turned out they don't like what I was wearing at the fancy-pants club. I wasn't let in. I went back to the hotel room and drunk called the girl I've been dating. She said some unusual things that I was in no mental state to fully discuss, especially over the phone.

The next day I spent running around going to shows. Saw Tarzan the movie, Popovich the act, Recycled Percussion the musicians, Sin City comedy cabaret, and the cherry on top was the Absinthe performance, which was, you guessed it, amazing. Chris and Alina made it to Vegas that night and we concluded the day by going up the Stratosphere tower.

Almost forgot. I won in roulette. Made 2 bets of $3 and won $19. Then later bet $3 and won $39. Yeah. Good luck!

Anyway, the next day we walked around got food etc. I played roulette again, but with less luck this time. I lost $25. Then won $20. Then lost $40 and then lost $15. Overall, it's been negative, but ultimately fun. We went to two magic shows. We saw Mat Franco and Pen&Teller. Pen and Teller were amazing, just like I thought they would be. I wish we'd had the time to take photos with them. Alas, we needed to make the drive back.

I woke up at a normal time the next day despite everything. Sunday it was. I went to the beach. This time I spent a good amount of time there. I got water. Did things in moderation. Then... it was almost late. It was Heather's last day in LA. People were going to play board games at a bar and then go over to Colin C's place. I didn't want to go to the bar. I was getting sad, too. That happens, still for all the same reasons. So I went home and crashed.

I woke up around 20:30 and had this desire to go do something. I decided to have a conversation with the girl, but I wanted to have it in person. She lives far away so I suggested I come over. She said she sees why she'd say that because she's under the impression I don't want to come after. I was confused. But I did explain that yes, she's right, I did have plans for the 4th. But.... she told me to not bother and just spend time with other people. 0.o I didn't need more than that. I'm looking for a woman who will say "Fuck yes! Come over!". She wasn't the one and that was the end of that. Have to be honest, it bummed me out a little. Life goes on though. I signed up for speed dating and RSVP'd for board games at Colin's. He didn't reply that night. Well, that was disappointing.

I started today by wanting to make things different in any way that I could. I went on a hike. Did the Los Liones trail in 30 minutes again. Showered. Went for lunch with family. Washed my car. Told my family I wasn't coming to picnic/fireworks after. Decided to not go to the lagoon beach family independence day thing. I was unhappy. My dad made remarks about me looking unhappy again. I didn't want to spend more time with them nor the beach family. I went to Oleg's party. I found it refreshing in a sense that he knows a lot of Russian people. And at some point the 4 of us hanging out on the balcony were all from Belarus. That was cool. But that too, got old after a few hours. I felt a wave of "Do something!!!!" coming on. I asked around if anyone had a coin I could flip. Everyone just said no without really engaging. Not my crowd. So I just left. I hauled my ass to Pacific Palisades High School for their fireworks. It's been the only consistently good place for me to go to see a fireworks show. Everything else has been disappointing. And I made it. I parked a mile away so I wouldn't have to deal with cars again. Out of the last 2 times I was there, once I got hit by another car and the other I got stuck in traffic trying to make a right for over an hour. This time I just ran a mile back to my car and was home 20 minutes later.

Those are the facts. I don't have time to get into my emotional state about any of this. Queue in behavioral therapy. Not digging into anything right now. I did things. They were fun. I was lonely. I will do more things. The end. Good night.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Weekend

And now ladies and gentlemen, lets do the news:

I suppose the thing that I care about the most is that GB has voted to leave EU. And it's retarded. There are so many reasons for which it's just such a terrible idea, but ultimately, over the years they will see  their economy fall and GDP not live up to it's potential in relation to other countries. It's very sad, really.

With that being said my weekend was fine. I chatted with Katelyn on skype for a couple of hours then went out with Katie. I ate so much  pasta Saturday I can honestly call myself pastaman! We watched Finding Dory. Then I hauled my butt over to the other part of town and watched Independence Day with Chris and Alina. Finding Dory was so much better. :P

Sunday I went on a hike. Did the whole Los Liones thing to the first viewing point in only 30 minutes. That made me happy. That's a 4-minute improvement on last time. Thought I don't know if I'll be able to do so well every time. I ran parts of up-hill as well.

After the hike I picked up Katya from Union Station. We walked around the historic downtown. It was underwhelming. Then we drove to Echo Park and spend some time on the padalboats. Then we had some fish-n-chips and clam-chowder and I put her back on the train. Short and sweet.

I was trying to see Hope after that so I drove to Burbank. But her thing ran 2.5 hours past due and I just basically walked around. Bought some small things I don't really need and left the valley. I stopped by Alex B and Alina's. Met their baby for the first time. That was nice.

Then... (tun-tun-tun) I went home and watched the last episode of the season for Game of Thrones. What a delight. I mean.. I was so happy. It ended with 4 people sitting on thrones being very straight-forward about what they're going to do next. I hope John marries Daenerys. But I'm glad to finally see Cersei on the throne. She's not hiding anymore. She's ruling like she's always done. And she check-mated all her enemies with one move. Quite genius.

And I finished the evening watching a comedy about Hitler in modern times. It's called "Look who's Back". Quite enjoyable. Raises good points. At least it's the first thing I've seen where Hitler isn't demonized but at least shown as someone who's done things for his people, which he did much better than so many of modern rulers.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Exes dating friends

So my ex messaged me yesterday saying she wanted to get coffee. At first I was excited because woo, more people wanted to hang out. But then I got a little nervous I've been remembering more of the stuff rather than good about our relationship. And then I got even more nervous when she was being especially punctual about this meeting.

Long story short, she told me that she's now officially dating one of my friends. :/ At first I was surprised and happy for them. Then she said that's surprised I'm not flipping out. I thought about it. It's a bit back-stabby, but it wasn't outside of the realm of possibilities. But then she said something that made me lose my appetite: they just spent the week together.

Somehow, knowing that while I was on vacation having a blast, I felt good about it knowing that at least I was having a better time that others. Now that I know that she's having a magic getaway with one of my friends. That shatters my believes.

She could tell I wasn't happy anymore. I tried to rationalize it and realized that this isn't the first time this has happened. Cough, Chris and Krystle. And cough(?) Igor and Monica. Somehow some people grow up without realizing that their friends might have feelings for their exes. Those who do then, in order to preserve friendships, stay the fuck away from their friends' exes. Or make abundantly sure that they wouldn't be hurting anyone's feelings. Chris talked to me before dating Krystle. This friend didn't.

I don't know what the difference is between the people. Maybe some just don't have feelings for their exes, or just aren't super capable of empathy. Whatever the reason, I was hurt for aforementioned two reasons. That, plus I wanted to move on first. So much for that.

Either way, that evening coupled with us terribly losing the pool match in the tournament last night made my day kind of shitty. I was looking forward to at least watching Game of Thrones, but I was too late for that, too. I spent the rest of the night drinking and talking to strangers on Omegle. And I talked to the OC girl on the phone a little.

When I woke I was dreaming about my ex telling me that she's dated other ones of my friends and I shouldn't judge. 0.o I was angry while still waking up. I'm feeling a little bit better now. This deep-rationalization I'm doing is helping me understand myself as a person and be sad in a constructive way. But honestly I wish I knew how to do self-behavioral-therapy so I can just move on without going through the struggle. If this last sentence didn't make much sense to you, look up "Behavioral Therapy Revolution".

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Wedding then back to normal.

Last Sunday was fun. I woke up in Toronto then went back to LA. I talked to a pretty girl in the passport line. I was lucky because the passport check happened at the Canadian site and I just randomly decided to get there 4 hours before my flight so I had time to go through it. But the real joy came from the fact that with my plane landing at 12:30 and Father's Day lunch being at 13:00 I could make it!

It was nice to see family. Our reserved tables were outside and in 35 degree weather some of us have refused to sit outside. So we had to wait for an hour before we got our table. Well, at least the food for delicious.

After that I came home, relaxed for a few minutes, then I had 15 minutes to get ready for Rui's wedding. So much rushing. Lina helped lint my suit. Stuff randomly still fit so I think I looked good. The wedding was good. Large restaurant. Many people. Not enough drinks though. But everyone around me was that... pregnant-age so it's not like anyone was actually drinking. I barely got someone to help me finish the bottle of champagne I got for the table. We took some silly photos and not-so-silly photos. Good photos all around actually. The wedding was supposed to wind down around 23:00, but everyone at my table left at 22:00 and I decided to follow suit.

Instead of going home I drove down to San Clemente to see one of the women I met on OkC. We walked by the the beach and then sat at a life guard booth watching the waves crashes on the shore under the full-moon moonlight. But when I was driving back I was pretty tired already. Remember, it's been a long day. And this guy with bright lights kept following me. Eventually I pulled to the right-most lane and slowed down to let him finally pass. That's when the sirens went off. Luckily the officer understood when I complained about this creep following me. :P

Monday was ordinary. Work. Tempest. Sleep.
Tuesday was mostly ordinary. Work. Then at the end of the day the Movie Club at work was showing the first Independence Day in the court-yard. Wine, beer and candy were provided. I got Lina and Chris to come out. Alan invited AnneMarie. So at least I was in company of good people.