Slipping

I don't know what the official length of time is for  being sad consecutively before you can call it a depression. It's been another week. And now it feels worse. I think I am getting depressed. Waking up has been more and more difficult. I keep doing crazier things and I find myself telling myself negative things. Things like "Why bother?". Or "You're not good enough". Or "Fuck it. This won't work anyway.". Notably, besides the cigar, this weekend I thought most of my exes for way too long in a way too nostalgic way. Yesterday I ate half  gallon of ice cream. I didn't see a single friend all weekend, and that's not for a lack of reaching out. But I also gave up on a few. Those who are too difficult to reach. Those either live too far away or never show any enthusiasm for hanging out.

So. Saturday. Tough wake-up after Jake's birthday. Lots of mouthwash etc. I wanted to do things. I can't recall what they were. I know I needed to fix some things at the Reseda apartment. I got up around 11:00, drove to Reseda. Bought things I thought I would need at Home Depot. Things like WD40 for the stuck door lock, thermostat batteries and new faucet handles for the faucets. Took me an hour to take the lock apart. I couldn't get it to function 100% because the no-lock pin is pushed in and won't come out. The drive-lever had a piece broken off which got stuck there. Surprisingly it still worked.. the lock... soaked in lubricant. So I put it back together since it's "good enough" however one of the screws had the head almost entirely scrubbed off. That's why it took me so long to take apart. I realized that the reasons they almost broke the whole thing is that the lock hooks didn't quite reach the holes. I moved the holes a little. It seemed to help. A lot.
P.S. I can totally tell the residents just pushed on it too hard too many times and broke it. Tisk.

The faucets needed handles. The ones I bought didn't fit. So I hauled my ass back to Home Depot and bought new ones. For one of the faucets I just decided to replace the whole thing. Bought one for $34. The nest one up from the cheapest piece of **** they had for $26. I also bought some screws.

Back at the apartment I replaced the screws and put some pads under the hole screws to make them stick out more. The lock was done. I replaced the handles in one of the faucets. And that was done, too now. But... installing the faucet proved to be a problem. I tried for 45 minutes to get the old one off. I tried being smart and using brute force. Nothing helped. The stupid screws down below just wouldn't bulge. And they were in this terribly inaccessible place behind the sink.

Chris and Alina invited me to go on a hike. I didn't make it. I was thinking about finishing early enough to go to Tempest, but I had already missed that. I then remembered that there's a Tempest in the valley. I would have to pay them since the membership isn't global. But whatever. I could do it. I left. I said needed to find a plumber and run some errands and drove to Tempest. I called 4-5 plumbers and got quotes ranging from $90 to $175. To install a faucet? It's hardly 30 minutes of work for a professional. What a fucking ripoff. When I had a maintenance plan a plumber visit to replace a faucet cost me $60. And I thought that was steep, too.

So I got to Tempest. I worked out a little. Felt kind of tired because of the evening before. But I still did some things. Not a whole lot. It was nice to be able to go up the wall high enough to touch my stickers. Woo. My stickers. No real improvement from 3 years ago but still. At least I'm not far behind. I chatted with Jon who tore all his ACLs in one of his knees. Then I headed back to the apartment. On the way I stopped by Lowes and asked one of the pretty ladies working there about what I can do to get the old faucet off. I got a plumber wrench, the 10" once since the space there is so tight. And I took a saw so I could saw off the old faucet from the top to loosen the screws down below. She laughed so hard.

On the way to the check out I called some numbers of craigslist. Most of them didn't pick up. One did. He said he could install a small faucet for $65. That was more like it. He said he could be free in 30 minutes. I said it's great and returned the saw. Just took the wrench and headed back.

At the apartment I tried some more to break up the faucet from the top. It was useless from the bottom. And then... a breakthrough. I managed to parts of the cover off. And it loosened the screws on the bottom to a point where I could move them! I broke off the rest of the faucet cover (with lots of brute force). Then I loosed the hold up top and practically undid the screws. below. Almost free... except...

...I'm slightly embarrassed by this but the water has been running the whole time. I tried so fucking hard to shut off the water. But it just kept flowing. And flowing. I opened up cold water. Then shut if off under the sink. Then I did the same with hot water.. but it wouldn't stop flowing. It wasn't full stream, but it also wasn't shut. I put all my force into shutting it off (which is supposed to be easy). But still didn't fucking work. Yeah, it was frustrating. So long story short... the water kept running this whole time.

My solution to taking the pipes off the old faucet was to unscrew them at the source, place something over them so the water would drop down instead of EVERYWHERE and I put a large pan underneath. The fan was filling up at about 3 minutes per pan. So I had 3 minutes to take the line from the old faucet to the new. And I did it. Had like 10% of the pot to spare! I was so ecstatic!

Then the plumber arrived and I went out to tell him that I had done it! The only thing left was to replace the drain pipe. But we had a problem. He drove on a huge van and there wasn't any parking. I had explained to him about how much progress I've made. He just stood there looking out into the distance. He didn't speak English very were. I think things were still seeping into his head. Then he gave me his card, shook my hand and drove away.

I went back. I still had the stupid drain pipe to replace. It was already like 18:00. The water stopped flowing and I had a new challenge. I wanted to replace the pipe since the faucet came with a new one. But it was tough. The old one was metallic and largely rusted. I couldn't get the U-thing that traps crap from the drain off. I couldn't unscrew the bottom screw again. And I couldn't do anything from the top. It was just shitty. But... after messing with everything and using the wrench I just got I managed to loosen the bottom screw. No room to do anything right. I had to move it inch-by inch. Took me over an hour. Not kidding. When I finally passed the silicone tape it went easier. I fucking hate that thing now. Never again. People just hated other plumbers back in the day so they made things that are impossible to repair. I swear.

Once I got the bottom screw loose I needed to get the sinkhole rim off. But it was rusted on. I tried ... very hard. But ultimately just went at it with pliers. A few minutes later I broke off a flowery looking thing. Haha. I was so excited. The U-thing wasn't coming off, but it was plastic so I could at least move it a little. Enough to take the old pipe out and put the new one in. Done and done. And put in the drain stopper as well. Woo! I cleaned up. Mopped the floors. And headed out.

It was 19:45. I was tired. I hadn't showered. I started looking for something to do. I was in such a dire need of socializing. I messaged Dwight and Katie. I thought about Mariya, Julia, Hope and Slava. But fuck Mariya and Julia. And Hope, too. Too many rejections. Hanging out shouldn't be so difficult. I didn't want to see Slava when I was that tired. I would rather seem him when I have the energy to enjoy sushi.

Katie invited me to a book club meeting at her place. It wasn't starting soon though. She didn't want to come out for food. And I can't say I like her roommates. That and I was wearing plumber wear, was covered in rusty water and probably didn't look good either. The final nail in that coffin was that she was 25 minutes away. Home was 26. I would have rather gone home. So I did. But not before stopping by Athenian Grill. Probably my favorite place in the valley. It's crummy and shitty. They stopped carrying my favorite thing there. Fish sandwich. But I still couldn't think of a place I would rather go. I got a falafel plate and took my sweet-ass time eating it.

I played NeverWinter for the rest of the night. I had no strength to do anything else.

Sunday went similar in terms of social isolation. I was really trying to go to Renaissance Fair to meet this woman from OkC. But Alan and Annmarie didn't want to go. Chris and Alina did, but they wanted to go on scooters. I really didn't feel like driving alone... or going there alone. I also felt quite crummy in the morning. I went on a hike. The same place Los... something. Don't remember. I didn't have my stuff since it got stolen at the break-in. So I winged it. Wore the knee brace. Had the Japan cap on. I asked a stranger for sunblock. And I even remembered to load music into my phone. But when I started hiking I realized I didn't have my headphones anymore. They're all gone. :( What a shame. I need to get new ones.

The hike went well. I walked up fast and pretty much ran downhill. I no longer have shoes I can wear to hiking. Need new ones. I went in shoes that really weren't made for it. So I was a little afraid to skip down. Running felt safer. Sigh.

Afterwards... I wanted to go to the Ren Fair.. but Chris and Alina had second thoughts... and decided to not go. I took a bath and watched TV. Didn't do anything. It was so draining. We started talking about going to the movies. But they couldn't decided on that either. I decided I needed to do something. Anything. So I hopped on my bike and went to the beach. I wanted to time how long it would take. And then I could take the train back and see how much time the train saves. Data!

When I got to the beach the train had a long line of people trying to get on. There was no way I could get there with a bike. So I went to the beach proper instead. Didn't do much there since I don't have my grips. Stolen, remember? I chatted with Olga briefly and ran into Katie, Sarah an Byung. Haven't seen the last couple in a while. These names aren't important so I'm not getting into details. Guess who else I saw? One of my exes. Not the most recent one.. but definitely one of the ones I'm not talking to. Le sigh.

I did some 3/4 front flips and headed out. And then... the roommates and I just watched a romantic movie at home, then game of thrones, then I played NeverWinter for a couple hours and that's it. By  my standards what a wasted weekend.

P.S. Still out of people to message on OkC. Maybe 5 new matches all week. No replies. At this rate it will be 6 months before I get another message. I need a new source.